Kids are Disgusting

You guys I finally set up my youtube channel. Be sure to check it out and subscribe.

This video is about how Kids Are Disgusting. Do you ever feel like you clean but it’s pointless because your kids are SO GROSS!! Well, watch this video. You are not alone fellow parent. My kids are also, disgusting!

Be sure to watch the whole video and tell me what you think.

Also, check out my other video called “7 things NOT to say to a MOM” There are always those people who have to social filter and say the damnedest things. Here is a video on 7 Things not to say to a Mom!

Gear used for these videos are: Canon 5D Mark iii & 24-105 Lens

SaveSaveSaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

Second Trimester of Pregnancy: What to Expect

The Second Trimester is the best trimester of all!

Second Trimester of Pregnancy- What to Expect

Congratulations you made it through the first 13 weeks of hell. Now the fun really starts happening. Though you will still feel like your ‘pregnant” this trimester is not all geared towards throwing up and your head stuck over the toilet seat. Here are a few things to expect during the second trimester.

There are a few things that will SUCK during the second trimester like:

  • Leg Cramps
  • Heartburn
  • Stretch Marks
  • Peeing Frequently
  • Mood Swings
  • Swelling
  • Varicose Veins

So many things happen during this trimester. That sweet baby is also growing ears, eyes, capillaries for blood flow, fingerprints, and will start to suck and yawn, which is the cutest thing if you catch it during your ultrasound. This will also be the time where you will feel your sweet baby kick for the first time. It will start out as sweet little flutters and then qucikly turn into a soccer game with your bladder. All in all it’s pretty damn amazing!

A few awesome things about this trimester

  1. Your morning sickness should be gone (for most women). This is a praise Jesus kind of moment. One day you’ll wake up and not have to rush to the bathroom to throw up. It truly is a miracle.
  2. Your energy should be back. Your body won’t be using as much energy to create life as it does during the first trimester. You should get a nice little recharge and it will feel amazing. You’ll be able to take on the world because you would have basically just gone through death itself which is the first trimester.
  3. Pregnancy Brain. Most people would think this isn’t a good thing but in all honesty to me it’s freaking awesome. Anytime I forget something (or just don’t want to go / do it) I blame it on my “pregnancy brain” No one is going to argue with that. It’s a fail proof thing!
  4. The Pregnancy Glow. This typically happens during the second trimester. You will get wonderful compliments on how your “Glowing”. You will look like a goddess so soak it up because no face creams or contouring will give you that gorgeous natural effect.
  5. Sex sex and more sex. This will be the trimester that your baby daddy will love. Some expectant moms experience a stronger sex drive due to the extra blood flowing through their bodies. Take every chance you get because once the third trimester comes you will not be feeling this way. TRUST ME!

The second trimester is my favorite one by far. Be sure to document it with photos and a journal every chance you get. This is the trimester of feeling alive and great. Have fun and enjoy that sweet baby growing inside of you!

xoxo,

Chels

 

Second Trimester of Pregnancy- What to Expect

Pregnancy: First Trimester Must-Haves

Do you read articles where everyone tells you pregnancy is a miracle? Or how beautiful and glorious it is? Well, all that is true but they never tell you how bad it SUCKS at the same time! Some women have no issues during pregnancy but if you’re like me, then your pregnancy is terribly filled with heartburn, back pain, and nausea. Not to mention that everytime I cough or sneeze I pee my pants! True story. Forget the mommy make-over, just buy me a new bladder!

I’m not joking, although my skin is glowing and my hair is shiny, my boobs are hurting like crazy and my hips are from here to Kentucky! DONOT even get me started on my moodiness and uncontrollable crying during this time. I absolutely restrict lifetime movies during pregnancy because once I start crying, I will not stop.

Although I am sure you are excited for the growing bean in your belly to mature into a delicious baby. It isn’t easy making a baby but I promise it is worth it!

Pregnancy trimester must haves

A few of my Must-Have items to survive the Frist Trimester of pregnancy

Total Body Pillow – This is absolutely a must have for me. During the first trimester, my back is achy. I use this pillow to support my back. Once my pregnant belly grows I will switch it and use it to support my belly.

Netflix – You will be exhausted. By exhausted I mean DEAD! Sleep as much as you can. Watch Netflix, read a book or do whatever in your power to stay relaxed. If you have other children Netflix is a great babysitter! (joke)

Tums – For the sake of your sanity, carry this shit in your purse at all times. Heartburn is a crappy sneaky thing. It just sneaks up on you out of nowhere. I carry these in my car and eat them like candy. It helps that they are actually really good!

Sports Bra – My boobs always kill me with every pregnancy. They are preparing to make some delicious milk for your sweet baby. If you don’t feel like a huge cow now, just wait until you breastfeed. I love this Sports Bra. It is amazing and great support. I will only wear sports bras during pregnancy. My boobs are huge and I would rather be comfortable than not comfortable. I mean come on, we are making a freaking brain right now!

Extra Strength Tylenol –  I get terrible headaches and migraines even more so during pregnancy. Since I can’t take anything other than Tylenol, I stock up on the extra strength. It is always great to have if your body is achy as well. Keep this by you at all times.

Belly Moisturizer – I love this stuff. My belly and back get super itchy so I lather this stuff all over me. It says it helps prevent stretch marks. I didn’t find out about this until my 5th pregnancy. I know, so sad.

Jolly Rancher Suckers – I keep suckers on hand or any kind of candy. Sometimes you get a bitter taste in your mouth and it will cause you to be nauseous. Once you start feeling or tasting that, pop some candy into your mouth. Jolly Rancher suckers do the trick for me.

Prenatal Vitamins – These make me super sick so I take them at night. It does help that they are chewable and taste good going down. (not so much coming back up)

Yoga Pants – Ditch your button jeans because that shit isn’t worth it. I live in my yoga pants and I LOVE them. It’s between yoga pants or flowy dresses right now. Nothing else.

Crackers – When you start to feel sick try and eat something. Usually, I can’t wake up and eat a huge breakfast but I will snack on some crackers to ease my nauseated stomach. I have crackers in my car, purse, bedside table and where I might need them.

Hydrating Water Bottle – This water bottle has been helpful for me. It has the ounces and times you need to drink water. If you only take one thing away from this post, have it be to stay hydrated. Dehydration is not a joke and sucks ass. You may have to get an I.V. due to dehydration. So drink lots and lots of water!

This is a great time to start a pregnancy journal. It’s fun to go back and read it with your child. Take lots of photos to remember this wonderful yet exhausting experience. Good luck and check out my First Trimester What to Expect post.

Have any questions? Feel free to ask me in the comments. I will do my best to answer!

xoxo

Chels

5 Ways to ensure the Best family Pictures This year

How to ensure the Best family Pictures this year? Follow these five tips and I promise you will have a smooth family photo shoot.

5 ways to ensure the best family pictures this year

It is that time of year again and you notice you still need family photos. Instantly you get a pit in your stomach because you remember last year’s family photos and all the battles it entailed. Your husband hates smiling, your oldest daughter has major attitude and your youngest likes to throw the dirt and possibly flip off the photographer (yes,that has really happened to me as a photographer and it was effing hilarious!)

As moms, we have a tendency to get absolutely out of control trying to control everything. It’s a blessing and a curse all at the same time.  It is hard to let your kids loose because you’re trying to tame them in front of the camera. Maybe you’re embarrassed about what your child may say in front of the photographer or your husband might keep that pissed off looked on his face the entire photo shoot

One year I had family pictures and I was completely insane and it ruined the entire shoot for me. The photos were beautiful but when I look at them, I think man, I was the worst person ever. My husband didn’t sleep at all the night before so his eyes were tired with dark circles around them. He also did me a solid and shaved my son’s hair off a couple nights before our photos. I was PISSED! My daughter was so grouchy and didn’t want anything to do with me. I had to get the knots out of her hair and it effing sucked! Let’s just say I was totally a shitty person that day and  you could feel it in my photos. After that, I vowed I would never do that again. 7 years and still going strong. Praise Jesus!

 

 

5 ways to ensure the best family pictures this year!
2013 family photos

 

5 Ways to ensure the best family pictures this year

 

Prep days before the shoot

This is an obvious one. Shop and figure out what everyone will wear days before your shoot. If you are trying to piece together outfits a couple hours before your shoot, you’re absolutely an idiot! That adds so much more stress to the actual day then there needs to be. Get up and shop days earlier. Also, figure out your location so you can get appropriate outfits. Ask your photographer for location directions so you can drive past and see it for yourself. It’s always better to be prepared so your not a basket case the day of.

Arrive on time.

Please, whatever you do, SHOW UP ON TIME! You don’t want to show up 10minutes late and try to rush into photos. Show up a little early and let your kids explore the location. It helps them stay focus and not want to run off during your shoot. Plus, it is courteous to your photographer. They have other things going on as well so don’t waste their time. Also, they are the ones editing your photos so…. just sayin! You want those wrinkles gone in your pictures? SHOW UP ON TIME!

Relax and go with the flow.

Moms, CHILL OUT! I can’t stress that enough. You set the mood for everyone. If you are angry and yelling at everyone that will not help them smile. In fact, you will probably get some sad looking kids and one pissed off husband. Go with the flow and trust your photographer. They will do everything in their power to get your toddler to look at the camera. So don’t stress, take a breath and just go with the flow.

Have fun and be silly.

Most of all remember to have fun. Your kids love to see you happy and your husband will smile if you are happy and relaxed. Trust me! It even helps if you act silly with your kids. That’s where the real genuine smiles come from. Tickle your kids, throw them up in the air, let them have some fun and I promise you will have the best family photos of all time!

Forget about Pinterest.

Last but not least, forget about the poses you saw on Pinterest. Some photographers find it really annoying when you whip out your cell phone and say “I want my photos like this and this and this and this and so on….”. What you think may look good might actually not work with your family. Those photos you saw on Pinterest were specifically for that family. Instead of trying to recreate photos you saw trust your photographer. They know what looks good and what doesn’t.

I hope these 5 tips help ensure you have the best family pictures this season. They are simple and easy to do. Do you have any family photo tips? Leave a comment and let me know. I want to hear them!

xoxo,

Chels

 

 

5 Ways to ensure the Best family Pictures This year

2016 Family Photo

 

 

All About Me: Mommin’ With Humor

Hello to all my wonderful followers. I’ve neglected my blog this last month. It has been a crazy month. Only one of me and a million things to do.

All about me

A little about me.

I have 5 kids who call me mom and a hunk of a husband who is technically my 6th child. He can’t seem to ever find the peanut butter. I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mom / photographer on the side. I basically love anything that is thrilling and I love uncontrollable laughter.

I posted a photo on Instagram last month that said “Ask Me Anything”. I am going to answer those questions now. I know I know, I am a little late to the game. I should have posted this a while ago but like I said I have been busy. You will know what I am talking about soon. (emoji wink/kiss).

momminwithhumor

Ask Me Anything:

Alohamoraopenabook -Love this idea. So seriously, do you ever get riled up or lose your patience? How do you stay so chillax?  First off I would love to say Thank You but I lose my cool all the time. My husband tells me to chill out a lot. So if it seems like I am calm, truth is I’m not. I am bat shit crazy just like every other mom out there. We all have to be crazy. If we weren’t we wouldn’t have had children.

Motherhoodtype – What is your bedtime routine like with the kids? I’m usually done by that time and my patience’s is pretty thin. Also, do you cook every night?  My bedtime routine is insane. (read more about my Bed Time battles here!) My 3 older kids go to bed just fine. They take showers, get a drink, go to the bathroom and get in bed. My 4-year-old, on the other hand, is wild. She doesn’t listen at all and by the time she finally goes to bed (way past every else) I am a whole different kind of exhausted from her alone. She is a devil child. Also, no I do not cook every night. I try my hardest to do 3 to 4 good meals a week and the other nights are ramen and mac & cheese with hot dogs! We keep it classy over here. haha! 

Dowtymbre – Love both those questions patience and cooking? And how do you deal with attitudes? Mine is starting to talk back and is just disrespectful. Timeout? Take toys away? This is a hard thing. How I deal with back talk is I don’t deal with it. I will ignore my children if they start to argue with me I stop them and say “I don’t want to hear it”. that is for my older kids. My younger daughter I have a time out chair. She hates getting seated in that. I will remove her from the situation and explain why she has to sit in the time out chair. It will usually stop back talk quickly. She hates that damn chair.

MotherhoodandMerlot –  What is your best advice for moms of more than two children? My best advice is… Don’t take life too seriously. Laugh lots. Just know that shit happens! Parenting is the greatest and most challenging thing you’ll ever do. Laugh and be happy instead of mad and miserable. 

Simplesarongs – How do you stay so positive? You’re are sweet. I try to stay positive otherwise, I would be a mess. When I wake up in the morning I think to myself, “Today I choose Joy” and I really try my hardest to do it! Feel free to download my free 8×10 printable of that saying. It is worth it and a great daily reminder. 

PicturealmostPerfectAre you kids in activities? If so, tips for keeping it all managed!? Yes all my kids are in something. On Mondays, we have a crazy day with all of them but my husband is home from school that night to help me cart everyone around. I highly recommend putting reminders on your phone. If I didn’t do that, my life would be a crazy ass mess!

Barefootmmy – How old are all of your kids? This is a great question. I have a 10 year old, 7year old, 6-year-old. The 7 and 6-year-old are 11 months apart. I won’t do that ever again haha. A 4 year and a 10.5-month-old. Plus a 10-month-old dog who is the best dog ever! 4 girls and 1 boy (2 boys if you count the dog) 

Taushawierlo How do you handle juggling all you do? How I handle everything is Excedrine and Pepsi! I don’t think I could get through the day without my caffeine boost.

Azfamilies How much time a week do you spend blogging? Well, honestly this last month I haven’t spent any time on it. Terrible right! I am going to get better. I have been M.I.A for a while. 

Chanteezy88Any advice for in-laws who just don’t like you because they’re obsessed with their son and resent you for “taking him away”? Haha funny you should ask this question. Though I do not blog on family relationships other than my kids, my mom Karen or my husband I will say… JUST DO YOU! You can’t please everyone so stop trying. Do what makes you happy. Focus on you, your husband, kids, and animals. Just be you,  be happy and be proud! 

Sparklersmagazine – Favorite date night? My favorite date night would have to be the dog park with my the husband.  It is free and people watching is legit. There are some funny dog parents out there and I am obsessed with people watching them.

Theurbandoor what’s your favorite thing to do outside of being a wife, mom, and blogger? You crack me up, girl. You are one of those friends I want to know better. I instantly clicked with you when we met. Plus you make me smile and help me not take things too seriously. Which is something I try to do with my friends. So it’s just crazy that you do that for me. I just adore you! I so adore you!! You make me feel so good about myself. You are one of my favorite people by far! My favorite thing to do outside of being a wife, mom and blogger would be being a photographer. I get so much thrill out of an awesome photo shoot or if I nail the editing of a photo. It is truly a passion I have.

Claudia_sparklersmagazineI know you wanted to know my bedtime routine (wink wink) This comment cracked me up. Well, my bedtime routine is an absolute blast. After I fight with my hoard of children about bedtime and finally get them into bed. I run to my most sexiest pj’s (aka a grandma muumuu) and fall fast asleep. My husband hates it but deal with it dude! We already have too many children. haha

NoguiltlifeWhat a fun idea! What’s your best tip for big families? I’m looking for anything that can help me here! lol. My best tip for big families would be Live life to the fullest. Get out and do things. Make the most of your family and love the dirty looks you get from the old people. (yes, I get dirty looks because of all of my children. Read about it here!! Another tip would be Walmart Curbside pick up. Order your groceries online and have them brought to your car. It has been a game changer for me! 

 

Thank you all who participated in the Ask me Anything post. I will post another one in a few months. This was a blast and I hope every can relate or use the advice given.

If anyone has a question about Parenting, Life, Business and etc.. put it in the comments and I would love to answer it in my next “Ask Me Anything” post!

 

xoxo,

Chels

 

 

5 Amazing Items to Keep In your Car

As a mother, I always need to be prepared especially in the car. You never know what is going to happen while dealing with children. You can have a bloody elbow one minute and a huge snot rocket the next. For me, it seems as if ANY and ALL bodily functions come out while I am driving. I don’t know how many times I can swerve on the freeway trying to give my kid a damn kleenex. Who cares about your safety, right? Just don’t get your snot on my seats!

5 Amazing Items to Keep In your CarIf your child throws up in your car, you’re screwed. You better go trade that car in for a new one because throw up leaves a disgusting odor in your car for weeks, even months if not properly cleaned. Nothing is worse than getting into a hot car and being slapped in the face with the delicious smell of vomit.

5 Amazing Items To Keep In Your Car:

  1. Hand Sanitizer: I always have this in my car. It is perfect if you have children like mine who like to touch anything and everything. They get germs all over their hands and I am a total germaphobe. Shopping carts at Walmart are the WORST for little hands. Another thing is when I pump my gas. That gross pump is carrying every germ possible. I am officially grossed out and will need to shower after writing that!
  2. Wipes: Wipes have been my saving grace so many times. When anything gets on my seats, the wipes come out. When my kids get their dirty hands on my gorgeous tan car interior the wipes clean it right off. They truly are gods greatest gifts to mankind!
  3. Trash Bags: I can’t tell you how many times I have needed a trash bag for all my childrens crap. They seem to always have trash. I don’t know or even understand how they get so much but somehow they do. Those monsters can create trash out of thin air!
  4. Febreze: I am not a fan of odors. I hate when my car smells gross and with sweaty kids that’s all I get, so I keep Febreze in there. I spray that everywhere and my car is always smelling so fresh.
  5. Extra pair of Underwear: This one is not for me. Even though my blatter has never been the same after so many children. TMI! I keep an extra pair of underwear in the car for my kids.Well, just one kid. It’s so nice to run to my vehicle and grab an extra pair out of the bag when needed.  I used them so many times and I am glad I keep that stocked up!

If you want exactly what’s in my car click on the links above. Just a few tips and tricks to make your car life a little easier. Do you leave anything in your car? Let me know if I should add something to my list!

5 Amazing Items to Keep In your Car when traveling with kids
5 Amazing Items to Keep In your Car when traveling with kids

 

Get Over Summer Embarrassment

  • I am way fatter than last year.
  • Are other people going to make fun of me?
  • Will my kids be embarrassed?
  • Or worse, will my husband be embarrassed?
Be the mom in the memory not out of it
                                           Be the mom in the memory not out of it

I have felt this many times this summer. If I didn’t have 5 kids I wouldn’t be in the body I have now. This worn out, run down, zebra striped skin and saggy everything body. Once that memorial day weekend hits and swimming starts, I die a little bit inside. It takes a lot of courage for me to put on a swimsuit and go to the public pool to swim. Every year I have the same anxiety about it. I can hear it now, “Hey mom don’t whales live in the ocean?”

Unfortunately, I am unable to get out of it. I have young kids and need to be in the pool with them. I feel like a huge buoy in the middle of the ocean. Plus my boobs are massive so when I enter the deep end of the pool they seem to perk up and hit my chin. You can see my frustration with this. Hello? Why can’t you perk up out of the pool and stay there at all times? Oh well, I’ll be fixing those once I hit the lottery! No more sandbags for me.

Here is the deal ladies (and men) WHO THE EFF CARES! Who cares about what you look like or the love handles on your sides. Anytime I start to doubt myself I instantly look at my kids. If I didn’t have this glorious bangable body (joke) I wouldn’t have my amazing children. I see the joy in their eyes when I swim with them. They aren’t going to remember how their mom was a buoy, they are going to remember how much fun mom was when she would swim.

Embrace your bodies ladies. Those stretch marks are your mom stripes and rock them with pride. I know one day I will get back to the weight I want to be but until then I don’t want that to stop me from living. My kids are only young once and I am trying to make the best of it. I don’t want to be one of those moms who sits outside the pool and watches her kids have fun. Be a mom who is in that memory and not out of it.

Be the mom in the memory not out of it!
Be the mom in the memory not out of it.

A few things that make me confident during summer:

  • Maui Babe Tanning Lotion. Being tan is always a plus when at the pool. Someone once told me being tan and fat is better than being fat a white.
  • Swim Skirt. I rock this mom skirt EVERY.SINGLE.TIME and it makes me feel as if I am not showing my goodies to everyone and their kids.
  • High Waisted Swim Suit I purchased a high waisted swimsuit this summer and I absolutely love the bottoms. One day I will rock the top but not this summer. ha ha

I hope this post is inspiring to women who may feel the same as me when it comes to swimming. No one is perfect. It’s time to embrace yourself and start living. Be the mom in the memory not out of it!

xoxo

Chels

 

 

Not your Average Butter Rice

“Not your Average Butter Rice” is absolutely amazing. Anyone who knows me will agree that rice is my go to dinner source. It’s easy, it’s good and it is filling! Plus, it is completely cheap when you are feeding a large family of hungry animals. By animals I mean children.

Not your average butter rice
Not your average butter rice is delicious, quick and easy. You won’t use another rice recipe again!

Feel free to check out my Dinnertime Horror post for a look into my crazy world of picky eaters.

I have really upped my rice game. I am such a rice fanatic.  Butter Rice, Fried Rice, Sticky Rice, you name it I cook it. One recipe I always get asked for is my Butter Rice recipe. This is not your average butter rice. It is a million times better than anything I’ve ever tried. Test it out and let me know what you think! Caution this is not for you if you don’t like good food! ha ha!

Not your Average Butter Rice

  • 5tbsp of butter (real legit butter)
  • 2 cups of extra long grain rice
  • 3 1/2 cups water
  • chicken bouillon
  • Dash of onion salt.
  • Salt and Pepper to taste

*I use 1 chicken bouillon cube to 3 1/2 cups of water. Let the cube dissolve*

Melt butter in a pan over medium heat. Add rice and sprinkle around onion salt. Saute for a few minutes (don’t let it turn brown). Add water / chicken bouillon. Stir and cover. Cook for about 15min -20min. Turn off the burner and let sit for 5 minutes. Salt and Pepper to taste, Fluff rice and serve.

It is that simple. If you want to spice it up a bit, I always add dried cilantro leaves. I am telling you, you will NEVER go back to boring butter rice again. Best recipe ever!

Enjoy!

 

Boboli: The Green Bean Pizza

Growing up dinners were never really planned out like they are these days. Karen, my mom,  really tried her best at doing it but her hands were full. She was a mom, dad, friend, caretaker, maid, cook and a legit Pensions business owner. She was and still to this day is amazing!

Boboli The green Bean Pizza recipe
A new and delicious recipe for all pizza lovers. It is yummy and won’t disappoint. Boboli The Green Bean Pizza.

For dinner, we usually ate out  but honestly I’m not complaining about that. We were raised on El Charro bean burros, butter cheese crisps and chips with salsa. It was the Bomb! She also cooked. She is a great cook but raising 3 crazy girls on her own, cooking was never a priority. Why would it be when El Charro was down the street. She has made up this delicious recipe I am about to share with you. It is FAST and EASY!

My kids HATE anything I make for dinner. (read my post about Dinnertime Horror for a look into my Hell with picky children) However, when I make Boboli The Green Bean Pizza for dinner, they eat it all. In fact, it is a race to see who gets the last piece.

It is fast, easy and delicious!

Ingredients needed for Boboli the green bean pizza
Ingredients needed for Boboli The Green Bean Pizza

Boboli: The Green Bean Pizza

(I recommend using a Pizza pan to get the best results. I ordered 2 of these Farberware Nonstick Bakeware pizza pans from amazon and absolutely love them!

Set oven to 375. Put Pizza crusts on pan and sprinkle shredded cheese all over them. Place pizzas in the oven. Allow the oven to warm while melting the cheese.

In the mean time. Cook ground beef. Season with Lawry’s salt and pepper. Drain grease. Add Prego sauce and let sit.

Layer: Once the cheese is melted add,

  1. 2 scoops of ground beef with sauce (or more for a meaty pizza)
  2. 1 can of drained green beans (make sure they are well drained. I always spread them out on a paper towel)
  3. Smother the top with cheese.

Place in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes or until cheese is bubbly and crusts are golden.

Don’t knock it until you try it. Make it for your family and let me know what you think!

Enjoy!!!

Boboli The green Bean Pizza recipe
A new and delicious recipe for all pizza lovers. It is yummy and won’t disappoint. Boboli The Green Bean Pizza.

3 effective ways to prepare your daughter for her period

First of all, here’s the deal. I was only in 4th grade when I started my period. FOURTH GRADE! I was a baby and didn’t know it was about to happen so soon. Since growing up with a mom and two sisters, I knew what a pad was. A pad was those weird looking things that were like pillows for your vagina. I never felt the need to ask my mom what a pad was but she informed me that they certainly weren’t pillows.

mommon' with humor!
mommon’ with humor!

My whole life we have openly talked about it and it seems like vagina was a word frequently used at the dinner table. (sorry mom. Don’t hate me for posting that)  It wasn’t a dirty little secret you were “hush-hush about. Therefore, when someone was on the rag, we ALL knew and made fun of them. “your Aunt flow is here to visit, that must be why your acting like a HUGE B***H”. I am so glad my family was open about it. I wasn’t scared or nervous at all because I knew what was going on. Due to the fact my uterus wanted a baby, I knew why it was being an angry bastard with this period crap.

The day I started my period was a bright and sunny day. I was old for my age. I already had boobs. (It was so traumatizing because kids are assholes. Hence, I would wear double sports bras and still tape my boobs down because of embarrassment during elementary school) I was wearing a purple shirt and white thin Gap shorts. For some people, their periods aren’t even noticeable when they first start. Normally, it is just a little bit when you wiped but that wasn’t my case. I literally bled through my thin white Gap shorts and had to change my clothes in the nurse’s office. SOOO EMBARRASSING! The nurse wasn’t helpful at all and was just confused as to what I, a fourth grader, was asking for. Word traveled fast and my class was saying “Chelsee’s privates are bleeding”. Immature children right? Doesn’t this sound like a horror story? I’m scarred for life. At that moment, I felt ashamed to be a girl.I instantly wished I could get a sex change. Plus, peeing standing up didn’t seem like a bad gig.

Needless to say, I finished the day at school with my head held high, my boobs taped down and my middle finger being put to good use! I hurried home to bury my head in my mom’s arms and cry.  Karen (my mom) wiped my tears and we celebrated. She took me to dinner and my sister made me a blood red cake. we ate that red fun fetti cake with pride. Happy Period Day! (now Karen says Happy Period Day for other reasons. aka Chelsee isn’t pregnant again! She’s so funny. ha)

After that traumatic experience, I vowed I would never let my daughter go through that. I promised myself, to make sure she knows what’s going to happen. The key is to be prepared. I wanted her to know everything there was about Aunt Flow, most of all, not be ashamed and to embrace this natural thing that all of us strong women get to deal it!

3 Effectivity ways to Teach your daughter
                                                              Prepare your Daughter

What I told my Daughter:

  • Women are blessed with this monthly “gift”. We get to bleed each month from our uterus in hopes to one day carry a baby in there. I noticed her face kind of freaked out so I did what I do best and made a joke to lighten the mood. “Your uterus will bleed and create wars in your tummy because it’s angry and wants a baby in there.” She laughed and asked some awesome questions that I did my best to answer.
  • Another thing I told her is that a period is a natural thing for all women. I went through each woman in her life who she looks up to and said how they get periods also so it isn’t scary. I also explained how she will feel some mild discomfort for a little bit due to cramps. If she starts to feel that quickly go to the nurse and ask for  some Tylenol. If they hurt really bad call me. I will pick you up!
“Chocolate and periods go together. There is no better medicine than chocolate. It cures all the shit your uterus will put you through! – momminwithhumor.com” 
  •  I put together a period bag filled with a couple pads, baby wipes, an extra pair of panties and some candy. She thought is was hilarious and quickly ate the candy out of the bag. I told her to keep the bag in her backpack. Let’s just say she quickly ditched the bag out of her backpack. She’ll learn, Momma knows best!

Most of all, I couldn’t express enough on how she needs to tell me (her mom) the moment she started so we can throw a period celebration. I will keep the blood red cake tradition in my home! Every single one of my daughters will get one. It truly is a must! Embrace your womanhood!

In conclusion, educate your daughters and prepare them. Don’t be one of those moms who doesn’t explain things thoroughly to where they go somewhere else to get answers. That is never  a good thing and you will be missing out on a bonding experience. Be open and be there for your daughter!