Nip Tattle Telling in the Bud

I’m telling Mom!!!  First of all, do you hear those words on a daily basis?

Nip Tattle Telling in the Bud
Nip Tattle Telling in the Bud

 

I don’t know how many times my wonderful children have been playing in their rooms and everything is going great. Mommy had about 8 minutes of quiet time (EIGHT WHOLE MINUTES).  A little meditation time to do some Yoga (who am I kidding, I don’t do yoga).   It is more like a nice quiet time to get nose deep in my awesome book The Cellar or maybe watch my favorite show, Gray’s Anatomy. Just as I am about to reach an intense part of the chapter or get to a really awesome surgery on Gray’s anatomy, I hear it, the always dreaded, never welcomed shrill of I’M TELLING MOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!” I may have of exaggerated with the “M’s” and exclamation points a little bit, but not by much.

I instantly perk up and run to my closet where I can be hidden by my mound of laundry. (I bet you guys think I am a slob). My house is totally clean. My Laundry, however; is OUT of control. I quickly squeeze my fat ass into my little tiny, totally not walk in closet and duck my head for cover. Half of the time those crazy kids run around like little ants on a mission, screaming “MOM, MOMMY, MAMA” over and over again until they finally find me.  Once found, I have to woman up and “adult”. I have to manage the situation and prepare them for the verdict which could go either way. It’s never a fun process. I cannot tell you how many times one of my kids run into my room to tattle, with the other kid right behind them screaming their side of the story. It’s a headache that I can’t get away from. Why children didn’t come with warning labels.  I will never understand.

“WARNING: THIS CHILD CONTAINS EXCESSIVE GAS, SMELLS FEAR AND WILL DRIVE YOU BATSHIT CRAZY” 

I guess if children did come with warning labels no one would have them!

My kids are smart crafty little bastards, they know how to work it. They know how to tell me what I want to hear, and tell me just enough to get the other child in trouble.  Of course  they never express their evil doings in the situation. It isn’t until I hear the whole story, they will finally fess up.

Today, as they were doing their chore of scooping up dog poop, I hear a scream, then a loud  slap and (never welcomed) “IM TELLING  MOMMMM !!” My son runs into the house to tell how his sister pushed his foot into dog poop. Horrible right? I mean what kind of sister pushes her brother in dog poop? I am super upset by this because the little turd himself came running inside on my perfectly swept floors with his poopy shoe still on his foot. I get up quickly and walk outside. Before I even reach the door, my daughter starts yelling her side of the story. As I hear it through,  I begin to think I’m raising circus clowns rather than actual children. Turns out my son pushed my daughter first, as she chased him, his own foot stepped into the dog poop. He then proceeded to slap her arm before running in the house to tell me what happened.

As you hear that story what comes to your mind? I bet it is “THAT KID IS CRAZY”, if so, you are correct! He is hilarious and crazy all at the same time. He is our wild child. Every family has one. If you can’t figure out who it is in your family, it’s probably you!

As a result of that story, I have done some research on how to nip tattling in the bud. I will absolutely be trying these tips from the BabyCenter  over the next couples weeks and will report back to my wonderful readers.

How to Nip Tattle Telling in the Bud:

  1. Check out the situation: Make sure no one is in real danger and everything is ok
  2. Don’t make the payoff: I really liked this one. If no one is in danger and it’s just your little child tattling don’t punish the other kid. That would just reward the tattle teller
  3. Raise the cost of tattling: This is brilliant! Raise the cost by adding extra chores or if money motivates your kids like it does mine, make them pay you a $1.00 every time they tattle. I know for a fact that would end my kid’s tattling issues.

In conclusion, teach kids what kind of tattling is ok and what kind is not ok. I will have a family lesson on this with my kids. Something absolutely needs to be done and needs to be done quickly before I check myself into an insane asylum!

xoxo,

Chels

Nip Tattle Telling in the Bud
Nip Tattle Telling in the Bud

You’ve Got Your Hands Full

The other day I went to the grocery store with all 5 of my kids. I don’t do this often because the moment we enter those automatic doors my children think that’s their cue to start acting like little crazy assholes kids. It is impossible for me to take all 5 kids there and not have them act up. I don’t know why they think it’s a green light to go ahead and do cartwheels down aisle 4 but for some reason they do. All I can think to myself is bring on the “You’ve got your hands full” comments.

You've got your hands full
You’ve got your hands full- Mommin’ With Humor

 

People pass us and it’s always funny to see their reactions. I get a lot of dirty looks, some glazed over looks and once in a while, I will get a sweet smile or chuckle. When I make eye contact with the judgey prospector I will get the always dreaded comment, “You’ve got your hands full”. This saying didn’t always bother me but after years of hearing this, I am finally at my end of friendly behavior. I used to apologize or correct my child’s behavior but now it’s a whole different story. When you tell me I have my hands full I will absolutely NOT correct my children and I will probably say a sly comment that puts you back in your place. Some of my favorite sayings are “yes, I do thank you for reminding me” or “Do I? I didn’t notice”(with an “eff off look” all over my face). My favorite is “can you believe I’m having number 6 in a few short months” (I do a fake loud laugh as I touch my non-pregnant fluffy belly). I have recently started saying “Ya I know I have a lot of kids, you should see my laundry room!”

It’s mostly dear sweet elderly people saying  “You’ve got your hands full” Most times they will turn to their spouse or whoever they’re with and whisper something quietly about my obnoxious children. I normally can’t hear because I’m being pulled and gnawed on like a piece of meat in a lions den. It’s pretty much a huge bat shit crazy show to watch. Once, my son decided to pee in the cereal aisle. I have no idea why he decided to do that but I’m guessing the 3 years old just had to go, but I certainly could have used the help instead of the comments. I won’t lie, I did laugh a little when I heard “clean up on aisle 6” over the intercom. My most embarrassing moments are when my kids decide to pick up mommies special ‘bathroom tools’ (tampons) and laugh hysterically at them, I will never understand why or how a tampon can be so funny. Trust me when I tell you, we are a freaking train wreck that you can’t look away from.

17 awesome responses to "You've got your hands full" -momminwithhumor.com

 

I asked some awesome parents on my Instagram and facebook for some  advice on what to say. If you are ever in this situation here is some hilarious, yet, good comebacks you can use…

Kathie O’Leary : You’re so observant, are you offering sitting services or just being a Captain Obvious?

Bethany Bauer : Yep, and a full heart Or if I’m in a bad mood….Only if you can’t handle it

Lorraine Cyr : I sure don’t need a gym membership!

tchelsie : My Hands and my heart

dellered : I just say, “Nah, I mostly ignore them” sadly it’s barely sarcasm.

ginaw1127 : I wouldn’t have it any other way

lindseypalmer11 : I have more at home

lizoncall : I simply say, yep!

nicki8902 : Said Every Mom Ever…

amberlawlor : I’m about to get my hands full!

kaileeandersen : I know.. Help me out

tkjar33 : Ya. I love it though! They’re great kids.

tarabfisch11 : And I’m having another

atippets : I get this every single time I leave the house. With 4 boys and twins, we are quite the circus. I sure do like the comments of encouragement and praise over the typical “you’ve got your hands full” or “better you than me” comments.

correamommy : Wouldn’t have it any other way! You may say I have my hands full, but I say I am blessed!!

bbymks5 : Yep!! You take this one!

sheyde : Thanks for noticing???

tamseyb : “Yup, great entertainment for the bored staring type.” Said this one today at a real peach of a lady.

sometimesstefanie : I just realized I say this EVERY time – “yep, it’s quite the party over here!” But really I wish I would say something like “yep, lots of penises to deal with.” Usually, when you talk about the genital area to a stranger, it shuts them up real quick cause they don’t know how to respond

Here are a few tips I can give you: 

  1. Don’t bring your kids to the grocery store! If you can leave those crazies behind, DO IT!! Take a little hour vacation to the store alone. Hit up that favorite drink stop first and then go shopping. I know I will never take a trip to the store alone for granted. Or even a trip to the bathroom alone would be the best gift ever!
  2. Don’t mind the people staring! Let them stare. Kids will be kids and the people who are judging are the ones who  A. Don’t have kids or B. Forgot what it’s like. This is the season of life you’re in. Live it up. Let your kids go crazy in the grocery store. They are only kids once in a lifetime. As a kid, I loved to ride around on the carts like crazy while my mom would grocery shop. She let me do it and claimed me with pride.
  3. Keep your Head up and walk away with pride! I remember one time my niece was screaming at the top of her lungs in a store. I can’t remember why but she was screaming as loud as she can. My sister picked her up and walked out of the store. It wasn’t until after she got home the cops showed up and questioned her about a possible child abduction. As my sister was carrying her screaming daughter out of the store someone called the cops and reported her stealing a child and the child was screaming .. (Hahaha) I laughed out loud for a good 20 minutes and still laugh to this day. Clearly, the cops realized what happened and quickly dismissed that report. Kids are unpredictable at times so when they get crazy. Keep your head up and walk with pride. Every mom in that store knows exactly what you’re going through. We got your back!

Anytime I am at the store and see a mom with wild children, I will NEVER judge because I know how that mom feels. We should all start offering a helping hand rather than a rude, sly  comment. By telling me I have my hands full,  makes me feel as if I can’t contain my children. That is farthest from the truth. I can contain those monsters, I am just picking my battles AND the grocery store ISN’T one of them!

xoxo,

Chels

 

Summer Activities for kids

Summer is always hard . All kids are home from school and here in Arizona, it’s HOT as HELL so going outside to play isn’t an option. Thankfully, I have thrown together a list of fun summer activities for kids that they will love.

Fun Summertime activities for kids
Fun Summer activities for kids

 

I know that my house is alway chaotic especially during the summer. My grocery bill goes up along with my inpatient craziness. Since school has been out, I have literally ref’d countles fights and arguments between my children, cleaned up 10 million messes, mopped WAY too many times from spilled cereal and pop. I can honestly say I am exhausted and its only been 2 weeks.

A lot of moms ask me “How do you do it with 5 kids and still stay sane?” Well number 1: I am so not sane, more like insane. Number 2: when we are stuck in the house all day that’s when we (kids and myself) get stressed out and grouchy. I have made myself a goal to do something fun and productive each day with my kids. So far, so good. They seem to be loving summer so that means I am doing something right. Maybe, I should teach them how to fold laundry. Check out Confessions of a Dirty Ass Laundry Room for some hilarious real life mom moments.

Here is a list of  Summer Activities for Kids: 

  • SWIMMING: This has been my saving grace so far! I can’t tell you how many hours we have spent at our neighborhood jr high pool. I swear every day at 1pm we are down there getting our swim in. It tires out my kids. After swimming they are chill and happy. It’s like they jump into holy water and come out as brand new children. Plus, I can’t complain much about the quick and easy bedtime process afterward. They fall asleep quick and they sleep like rocks. No one can wake them. It truly has my saving grace. I also purchased my local summer pool pass so I save money in the end, plus I get a rockin’ tan!
fun summer activities for kids
Summertime with kids
  • LAKE:  Here in Arizona (where I live) we have an awesome beach like lake called Butcher Jones Beach. It is a quick fun retreat we can go to that makes it feel we are in a different state. My kids love it. We have rented paddle boards to play on in the water. It is something you MUST do with your kids. So fun and great exercise for me!  My kids loved being able to stand up and paddle on the “surfboard” Also take some hotdogs and soda. All lakes will have some sort of grill you can cook some easy things on. It’s a fun day for barely any cost!
fun summer activities for kids
summertime with kids

 

  •   CAMPING: This is a summertime tradition with my family. When my sons birthday comes around he doesn’t want a party, He wants to go camping!  There is something about sleeping under the stars with the crisp mountain air that really gets my kids excited. We try and camp a lot during the summers. It’s the perfect weekend getaway that isn’t too expensive. I want my kids to be able and enjoy what nature has to offer. The world is such a beautiful place and way better than any hotel you can stay at!fun summer activities for kids
  • HIKING: Only the last year have I really tried and hiked with my kids. I thought that they would be too small and would complain the whole time. The first hike we did was awesome with a great view at the end. It was hard work hiking up to the top and my kids were tired but they will agree with me, well worth it. In Arizona hiking in the summer is not recommended because you will sweat your ass off but if you had to, wake up early and beat the heat!
  • ZOO: We are obsessed with the zoo. We go and love to see all the different animals and how they interact with each other. One time while traveling in Colorado, we visited the zoo in Denver. A group of animals started “fighting” and making funny noises. My kids asked what was going on and why that animal was getting on top of the other animal. I said “They are fighting over what they wanted to eat for dinner” It was hilarious. My kids always seem to bring up that story. I wonder when they will figure out that they weren’t really fighting…?

fun summer activities for kids

  • DRIVE-IN MOVIES: This is hands down one of our favorite things to do. We go see new releases for less than $20.00 for my entire family. I bring the couch cushions, blankets, pillows, pop my own popcorn, fill water bottles with Kool-Aid (yes, I am a cheap A) and we have a grand time. When we pull up I always lay all my seats down in my van and make a big bed. My kids crawl in there,  get cozy and let the big screen take them to a whole new level of imagination. The last time I went my son did have a meltdown of the century. He got his kindle fire taken away for a good 6 months. Apparently, I wasn’t following my own advice from my latest post of Stop the Meltdowns 101 because that kid was bat shit crazy running around screaming at the top of his lungs. Haha, I laugh now only because I’m glad that humiliating day is OVER and DONE!

 

  • GROUPONAnother favorite and saving grace for me this summer has been Groupon. I check that every day to see what kind of deals they have. Normally they have cool things I can take my kids to and not worry about breaking the bank. There is this cool indoor jungle gym that I have been dying to take my family too. The problem is it is SO EXPENSIVE it would have been about $65.00 total just to go there. I’m not going to spend that kind of money on something unless it was Disneyland.  I checked out Groupon, low and behold it was on there for a fraction of the price. We had such a blast and thank you Groupon for being amazing and coming through when I need you!

 

 

 

Mommin’ With Humor

Hello cyber world,

Welcome to Mommin’ with Humor. My name is Chelsee Bingham,  I’m a mother of 5 crazy kids, a wife and a dog owner. My kids age from 10yrs to 6month. (No, we did not plan ANY of them but we are extremely happy they are here entertaining us) With all the children I have, I have to manage my time wisely. It’s normally between picking up my house, trying to fold my never ending overflow of laundry, cook dinner but most nights I end up at little caesars with a $5.00 pizza, Changing clothing / diapers and the love of scooping up dog poop. I am always taking my kids on adventures to new places. I want to give them all the experiences in the world (but only on a cheap ass budget) I am also a full time ref.  I always seem to be refereeing unnecessary fights in the living room over toys, clothes, candy, netfilx and etc…

This blog is a way for me to reach out and  help other parents through my computer. I hope parents can relate to my experiences and realize this parenting thing is a lot of work. I will be posting funny thoughts, experience, DIY, crafting, recipes,  husband 101 and much more useful facts. A lot of my posts will be uncensored, raw and real but totally worth it.

If you have any questions you can always email me at Momminwithhumor@yahoo.com or leave a comment below. I will answer all questions to the best of my knowledge. I would love for readers to comment on posts they like and can relate to. Feel free to leave your funny stories and comments below any post. I want to hear them!

Chelsee and Scott Bingham
Chelsee and Scott Bingham

xoxo,

Chels