Second Trimester of Pregnancy: What to Expect

The Second Trimester is the best trimester of all!

Second Trimester of Pregnancy- What to Expect

Congratulations you made it through the first 13 weeks of hell. Now the fun really starts happening. Though you will still feel like your ‘pregnant” this trimester is not all geared towards throwing up and your head stuck over the toilet seat. Here are a few things to expect during the second trimester.

There are a few things that will SUCK during the second trimester like:

  • Leg Cramps
  • Heartburn
  • Stretch Marks
  • Peeing Frequently
  • Mood Swings
  • Swelling
  • Varicose Veins

So many things happen during this trimester. That sweet baby is also growing ears, eyes, capillaries for blood flow, fingerprints, and will start to suck and yawn, which is the cutest thing if you catch it during your ultrasound. This will also be the time where you will feel your sweet baby kick for the first time. It will start out as sweet little flutters and then qucikly turn into a soccer game with your bladder. All in all it’s pretty damn amazing!

A few awesome things about this trimester

  1. Your morning sickness should be gone (for most women). This is a praise Jesus kind of moment. One day you’ll wake up and not have to rush to the bathroom to throw up. It truly is a miracle.
  2. Your energy should be back. Your body won’t be using as much energy to create life as it does during the first trimester. You should get a nice little recharge and it will feel amazing. You’ll be able to take on the world because you would have basically just gone through death itself which is the first trimester.
  3. Pregnancy Brain. Most people would think this isn’t a good thing but in all honesty to me it’s freaking awesome. Anytime I forget something (or just don’t want to go / do it) I blame it on my “pregnancy brain” No one is going to argue with that. It’s a fail proof thing!
  4. The Pregnancy Glow. This typically happens during the second trimester. You will get wonderful compliments on how your “Glowing”. You will look like a goddess so soak it up because no face creams or contouring will give you that gorgeous natural effect.
  5. Sex sex and more sex. This will be the trimester that your baby daddy will love. Some expectant moms experience a stronger sex drive due to the extra blood flowing through their bodies. Take every chance you get because once the third trimester comes you will not be feeling this way. TRUST ME!

The second trimester is my favorite one by far. Be sure to document it with photos and a journal every chance you get. This is the trimester of feeling alive and great. Have fun and enjoy that sweet baby growing inside of you!

xoxo,

Chels

 

Second Trimester of Pregnancy- What to Expect

Pregnancy First Trimester: What to expect

The first trimester of pregnancy is horrible. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful thing and I am so thankful I have my wonderful children, but making them (not the bedroom part wink, wink) isn’t the most fun. For all 6 of my pregnancies, I literally had my head stuck in the toilet for the first few months and it continued throughout certain pregnancies. IT BLOWS and I am not even joking about that.

mommin with humor pregnancy

 

For most women, this is the hardest trimester of pregnancy. It isn’t pretty. You feel bloated, nauseated and not to mention the “glowing” look that everyone talks about doesn’t happen right away. I could play connect the dots on my forehead from zits because my hormones were out of control! Oh, AND  I am a disaster with all the crying, yelling, laughing, screaming and much more. Just know that this phase doesn’t last forever I promise.

Here are a few things to expect during your first trimester.

  1. Fatigue – Making a baby is exhausting. You’re going to want to sleep all the time and that is totally fine! Things you normally do might leave you feeling exhausted. It’s rough, but the good thing is you can sleep all day and no one will judge you! If you have other children I’m sorry to say…………….you’re screwed!
  2. Nausea – The severity will vary. Some women will get it and some (lucky women) won’t but most likely you’re going to have it and it will SUCK ASS!!!!!!. While your head is stuck in the toilet just remember, it won’t last long… (hopefully)
  3. Strong smells– If you haven’t taken out the trash in a long time you will smell it and it might make you vomit. If you have school kids, like me, you may want to frequently wash their shoes because the stinky feet smell will be so strong it will make you gag and throw up. Trust me. It happened to me EVERY SINGLE DAY! (ps. school kids are smelly I advise you to give them frequent showers while you’re pregnant because those smells are horrifying)
  4. Your Boobs Hurt Like Hell– Watch out when walking because one hit to the boob will send some not so pretty words flying out of your mouth. Also when you’re getting frisky with your baby daddy make sure he is gentle. Nothing kills the moment like screaming in pain due to your pregnancy boobs aching. Side note: THEY GET BIGGER enjoy them while they last.
  5. Your Cravings are out of control– I am pretty sure I have asked my husband to go to Dairy Queen at least 3 times a week for me. OR I have also craved egg sandwiches, sour cream and Alka Seltzer.. ( that last one isn’t my proudest moment)

Be sure to check out First Trimester Must-Haves

Don’t get me wrong. I think all of these symptoms are terrible but it is well worth it. At the end of this shit show (pregnancy), you’ll have a sweet loving little baby who will change your life forever, in a good way.

 

first trimester what to expect
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Like I said before, this trimester doesn’t last forever. It will be a distant memory soon. Use all the help you can get. If you have other children, have them go play at a friends house. You’ll need all the rest you can get.

 

xoxo,

Chels

Pregnancy: First Trimester Must-Haves

Do you read articles where everyone tells you pregnancy is a miracle? Or how beautiful and glorious it is? Well, all that is true but they never tell you how bad it SUCKS at the same time! Some women have no issues during pregnancy but if you’re like me, then your pregnancy is terribly filled with heartburn, back pain, and nausea. Not to mention that everytime I cough or sneeze I pee my pants! True story. Forget the mommy make-over, just buy me a new bladder!

I’m not joking, although my skin is glowing and my hair is shiny, my boobs are hurting like crazy and my hips are from here to Kentucky! DONOT even get me started on my moodiness and uncontrollable crying during this time. I absolutely restrict lifetime movies during pregnancy because once I start crying, I will not stop.

Although I am sure you are excited for the growing bean in your belly to mature into a delicious baby. It isn’t easy making a baby but I promise it is worth it!

Pregnancy trimester must haves

A few of my Must-Have items to survive the Frist Trimester of pregnancy

Total Body Pillow – This is absolutely a must have for me. During the first trimester, my back is achy. I use this pillow to support my back. Once my pregnant belly grows I will switch it and use it to support my belly.

Netflix – You will be exhausted. By exhausted I mean DEAD! Sleep as much as you can. Watch Netflix, read a book or do whatever in your power to stay relaxed. If you have other children Netflix is a great babysitter! (joke)

Tums – For the sake of your sanity, carry this shit in your purse at all times. Heartburn is a crappy sneaky thing. It just sneaks up on you out of nowhere. I carry these in my car and eat them like candy. It helps that they are actually really good!

Sports Bra – My boobs always kill me with every pregnancy. They are preparing to make some delicious milk for your sweet baby. If you don’t feel like a huge cow now, just wait until you breastfeed. I love this Sports Bra. It is amazing and great support. I will only wear sports bras during pregnancy. My boobs are huge and I would rather be comfortable than not comfortable. I mean come on, we are making a freaking brain right now!

Extra Strength Tylenol –  I get terrible headaches and migraines even more so during pregnancy. Since I can’t take anything other than Tylenol, I stock up on the extra strength. It is always great to have if your body is achy as well. Keep this by you at all times.

Belly Moisturizer – I love this stuff. My belly and back get super itchy so I lather this stuff all over me. It says it helps prevent stretch marks. I didn’t find out about this until my 5th pregnancy. I know, so sad.

Jolly Rancher Suckers – I keep suckers on hand or any kind of candy. Sometimes you get a bitter taste in your mouth and it will cause you to be nauseous. Once you start feeling or tasting that, pop some candy into your mouth. Jolly Rancher suckers do the trick for me.

Prenatal Vitamins – These make me super sick so I take them at night. It does help that they are chewable and taste good going down. (not so much coming back up)

Yoga Pants – Ditch your button jeans because that shit isn’t worth it. I live in my yoga pants and I LOVE them. It’s between yoga pants or flowy dresses right now. Nothing else.

Crackers – When you start to feel sick try and eat something. Usually, I can’t wake up and eat a huge breakfast but I will snack on some crackers to ease my nauseated stomach. I have crackers in my car, purse, bedside table and where I might need them.

Hydrating Water Bottle – This water bottle has been helpful for me. It has the ounces and times you need to drink water. If you only take one thing away from this post, have it be to stay hydrated. Dehydration is not a joke and sucks ass. You may have to get an I.V. due to dehydration. So drink lots and lots of water!

This is a great time to start a pregnancy journal. It’s fun to go back and read it with your child. Take lots of photos to remember this wonderful yet exhausting experience. Good luck and check out my First Trimester What to Expect post.

Have any questions? Feel free to ask me in the comments. I will do my best to answer!

xoxo

Chels

5 Ways to ensure the Best family Pictures This year

How to ensure the Best family Pictures this year? Follow these five tips and I promise you will have a smooth family photo shoot.

5 ways to ensure the best family pictures this year

It is that time of year again and you notice you still need family photos. Instantly you get a pit in your stomach because you remember last year’s family photos and all the battles it entailed. Your husband hates smiling, your oldest daughter has major attitude and your youngest likes to throw the dirt and possibly flip off the photographer (yes,that has really happened to me as a photographer and it was effing hilarious!)

As moms, we have a tendency to get absolutely out of control trying to control everything. It’s a blessing and a curse all at the same time.  It is hard to let your kids loose because you’re trying to tame them in front of the camera. Maybe you’re embarrassed about what your child may say in front of the photographer or your husband might keep that pissed off looked on his face the entire photo shoot

One year I had family pictures and I was completely insane and it ruined the entire shoot for me. The photos were beautiful but when I look at them, I think man, I was the worst person ever. My husband didn’t sleep at all the night before so his eyes were tired with dark circles around them. He also did me a solid and shaved my son’s hair off a couple nights before our photos. I was PISSED! My daughter was so grouchy and didn’t want anything to do with me. I had to get the knots out of her hair and it effing sucked! Let’s just say I was totally a shitty person that day and  you could feel it in my photos. After that, I vowed I would never do that again. 7 years and still going strong. Praise Jesus!

 

 

5 ways to ensure the best family pictures this year!
2013 family photos

 

5 Ways to ensure the best family pictures this year

 

Prep days before the shoot

This is an obvious one. Shop and figure out what everyone will wear days before your shoot. If you are trying to piece together outfits a couple hours before your shoot, you’re absolutely an idiot! That adds so much more stress to the actual day then there needs to be. Get up and shop days earlier. Also, figure out your location so you can get appropriate outfits. Ask your photographer for location directions so you can drive past and see it for yourself. It’s always better to be prepared so your not a basket case the day of.

Arrive on time.

Please, whatever you do, SHOW UP ON TIME! You don’t want to show up 10minutes late and try to rush into photos. Show up a little early and let your kids explore the location. It helps them stay focus and not want to run off during your shoot. Plus, it is courteous to your photographer. They have other things going on as well so don’t waste their time. Also, they are the ones editing your photos so…. just sayin! You want those wrinkles gone in your pictures? SHOW UP ON TIME!

Relax and go with the flow.

Moms, CHILL OUT! I can’t stress that enough. You set the mood for everyone. If you are angry and yelling at everyone that will not help them smile. In fact, you will probably get some sad looking kids and one pissed off husband. Go with the flow and trust your photographer. They will do everything in their power to get your toddler to look at the camera. So don’t stress, take a breath and just go with the flow.

Have fun and be silly.

Most of all remember to have fun. Your kids love to see you happy and your husband will smile if you are happy and relaxed. Trust me! It even helps if you act silly with your kids. That’s where the real genuine smiles come from. Tickle your kids, throw them up in the air, let them have some fun and I promise you will have the best family photos of all time!

Forget about Pinterest.

Last but not least, forget about the poses you saw on Pinterest. Some photographers find it really annoying when you whip out your cell phone and say “I want my photos like this and this and this and this and so on….”. What you think may look good might actually not work with your family. Those photos you saw on Pinterest were specifically for that family. Instead of trying to recreate photos you saw trust your photographer. They know what looks good and what doesn’t.

I hope these 5 tips help ensure you have the best family pictures this season. They are simple and easy to do. Do you have any family photo tips? Leave a comment and let me know. I want to hear them!

xoxo,

Chels

 

 

5 Ways to ensure the Best family Pictures This year

2016 Family Photo

 

 

Parents, Never Be Late Again: 5 Helpful Tips

OK, I’m not going to lie. One of my biggest pet peeves is not being on time or things starting late. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I HATE tardiness. If I am late to something I feel terrible with an ache in my stomach. If I am hosting an event, you better believe I will start it on time and not a minute later.

Nothing is worse than showing up somewhere on time and having the festivity start 30min to an hour later! Honestly, who has time for that! I also can’t stand when my kids are late to school. It makes me feel like I am doing them a disservice and not teaching them responsibility.

If you show up late every day to work, you better believe your ass will be fired! Ain’t Nobody Has Time For That!

My husband is very much the opposite and it drives me nuts! He doesn’t seem to see the urgency in being on time. Bless his heart but every time we are late somewhere (usually because of him) he gets the ultimate Chels smack down. It isn’t pretty or nice. He thinks I’m the spawn of satan when I get in that mode.

Never be late again with 5 helpful tips. Momminwithhumor.com

5 Tips for Being on Time:

  1. Set multiple alarm clocks: If you have tons of children to get ready or a bunch of stuff to do before leaving. Set multiple alarm clocks. It’s so easy yet so many people don’t use this tool.
  2. Prepare yourself the night before: Every night before bed, my daughter (who is super slow in the morning) will pick out her clothes the night before. She knows her slowness in the morning drives my crazy so she does this to avoid being late. I am so impressed with her!
  3. Set your clocks 15 minutes early:  This one helps me so much. I set my microwave clock 15min early and my oven clock is the right time. I will make sure to be dressed and finished with everything I need to do before my microwave time hits a certain number.
  4. Give yourself enough time: If you are waking up 15min before you need to be somewhere, I’m sorry but you’re an idiot! Wake up early and give yourself enough time to get everything done.
  5. Ask for help: If I have a big event going on and I’m running late,  I will call in reinforcements to help me which is usually to help get kids ready or curl hair. Ask someone to give you a “wake-up call” or help you get everything you need to get done. It’s not a bad gig!

Being on time is a great trait to have. It shows you are responsible and reliable. Teach your children the importance of being punctual because that is one of the first steps to being a successful and respectful human being.

xoxo,

Chels

 

All About Me: Mommin’ With Humor

Hello to all my wonderful followers. I’ve neglected my blog this last month. It has been a crazy month. Only one of me and a million things to do.

All about me

A little about me.

I have 5 kids who call me mom and a hunk of a husband who is technically my 6th child. He can’t seem to ever find the peanut butter. I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mom / photographer on the side. I basically love anything that is thrilling and I love uncontrollable laughter.

I posted a photo on Instagram last month that said “Ask Me Anything”. I am going to answer those questions now. I know I know, I am a little late to the game. I should have posted this a while ago but like I said I have been busy. You will know what I am talking about soon. (emoji wink/kiss).

momminwithhumor

Ask Me Anything:

Alohamoraopenabook -Love this idea. So seriously, do you ever get riled up or lose your patience? How do you stay so chillax?  First off I would love to say Thank You but I lose my cool all the time. My husband tells me to chill out a lot. So if it seems like I am calm, truth is I’m not. I am bat shit crazy just like every other mom out there. We all have to be crazy. If we weren’t we wouldn’t have had children.

Motherhoodtype – What is your bedtime routine like with the kids? I’m usually done by that time and my patience’s is pretty thin. Also, do you cook every night?  My bedtime routine is insane. (read more about my Bed Time battles here!) My 3 older kids go to bed just fine. They take showers, get a drink, go to the bathroom and get in bed. My 4-year-old, on the other hand, is wild. She doesn’t listen at all and by the time she finally goes to bed (way past every else) I am a whole different kind of exhausted from her alone. She is a devil child. Also, no I do not cook every night. I try my hardest to do 3 to 4 good meals a week and the other nights are ramen and mac & cheese with hot dogs! We keep it classy over here. haha! 

Dowtymbre – Love both those questions patience and cooking? And how do you deal with attitudes? Mine is starting to talk back and is just disrespectful. Timeout? Take toys away? This is a hard thing. How I deal with back talk is I don’t deal with it. I will ignore my children if they start to argue with me I stop them and say “I don’t want to hear it”. that is for my older kids. My younger daughter I have a time out chair. She hates getting seated in that. I will remove her from the situation and explain why she has to sit in the time out chair. It will usually stop back talk quickly. She hates that damn chair.

MotherhoodandMerlot –  What is your best advice for moms of more than two children? My best advice is… Don’t take life too seriously. Laugh lots. Just know that shit happens! Parenting is the greatest and most challenging thing you’ll ever do. Laugh and be happy instead of mad and miserable. 

Simplesarongs – How do you stay so positive? You’re are sweet. I try to stay positive otherwise, I would be a mess. When I wake up in the morning I think to myself, “Today I choose Joy” and I really try my hardest to do it! Feel free to download my free 8×10 printable of that saying. It is worth it and a great daily reminder. 

PicturealmostPerfectAre you kids in activities? If so, tips for keeping it all managed!? Yes all my kids are in something. On Mondays, we have a crazy day with all of them but my husband is home from school that night to help me cart everyone around. I highly recommend putting reminders on your phone. If I didn’t do that, my life would be a crazy ass mess!

Barefootmmy – How old are all of your kids? This is a great question. I have a 10 year old, 7year old, 6-year-old. The 7 and 6-year-old are 11 months apart. I won’t do that ever again haha. A 4 year and a 10.5-month-old. Plus a 10-month-old dog who is the best dog ever! 4 girls and 1 boy (2 boys if you count the dog) 

Taushawierlo How do you handle juggling all you do? How I handle everything is Excedrine and Pepsi! I don’t think I could get through the day without my caffeine boost.

Azfamilies How much time a week do you spend blogging? Well, honestly this last month I haven’t spent any time on it. Terrible right! I am going to get better. I have been M.I.A for a while. 

Chanteezy88Any advice for in-laws who just don’t like you because they’re obsessed with their son and resent you for “taking him away”? Haha funny you should ask this question. Though I do not blog on family relationships other than my kids, my mom Karen or my husband I will say… JUST DO YOU! You can’t please everyone so stop trying. Do what makes you happy. Focus on you, your husband, kids, and animals. Just be you,  be happy and be proud! 

Sparklersmagazine – Favorite date night? My favorite date night would have to be the dog park with my the husband.  It is free and people watching is legit. There are some funny dog parents out there and I am obsessed with people watching them.

Theurbandoor what’s your favorite thing to do outside of being a wife, mom, and blogger? You crack me up, girl. You are one of those friends I want to know better. I instantly clicked with you when we met. Plus you make me smile and help me not take things too seriously. Which is something I try to do with my friends. So it’s just crazy that you do that for me. I just adore you! I so adore you!! You make me feel so good about myself. You are one of my favorite people by far! My favorite thing to do outside of being a wife, mom and blogger would be being a photographer. I get so much thrill out of an awesome photo shoot or if I nail the editing of a photo. It is truly a passion I have.

Claudia_sparklersmagazineI know you wanted to know my bedtime routine (wink wink) This comment cracked me up. Well, my bedtime routine is an absolute blast. After I fight with my hoard of children about bedtime and finally get them into bed. I run to my most sexiest pj’s (aka a grandma muumuu) and fall fast asleep. My husband hates it but deal with it dude! We already have too many children. haha

NoguiltlifeWhat a fun idea! What’s your best tip for big families? I’m looking for anything that can help me here! lol. My best tip for big families would be Live life to the fullest. Get out and do things. Make the most of your family and love the dirty looks you get from the old people. (yes, I get dirty looks because of all of my children. Read about it here!! Another tip would be Walmart Curbside pick up. Order your groceries online and have them brought to your car. It has been a game changer for me! 

 

Thank you all who participated in the Ask me Anything post. I will post another one in a few months. This was a blast and I hope every can relate or use the advice given.

If anyone has a question about Parenting, Life, Business and etc.. put it in the comments and I would love to answer it in my next “Ask Me Anything” post!

 

xoxo,

Chels

 

 

Get Over Summer Embarrassment

  • I am way fatter than last year.
  • Are other people going to make fun of me?
  • Will my kids be embarrassed?
  • Or worse, will my husband be embarrassed?
Be the mom in the memory not out of it
                                           Be the mom in the memory not out of it

I have felt this many times this summer. If I didn’t have 5 kids I wouldn’t be in the body I have now. This worn out, run down, zebra striped skin and saggy everything body. Once that memorial day weekend hits and swimming starts, I die a little bit inside. It takes a lot of courage for me to put on a swimsuit and go to the public pool to swim. Every year I have the same anxiety about it. I can hear it now, “Hey mom don’t whales live in the ocean?”

Unfortunately, I am unable to get out of it. I have young kids and need to be in the pool with them. I feel like a huge buoy in the middle of the ocean. Plus my boobs are massive so when I enter the deep end of the pool they seem to perk up and hit my chin. You can see my frustration with this. Hello? Why can’t you perk up out of the pool and stay there at all times? Oh well, I’ll be fixing those once I hit the lottery! No more sandbags for me.

Here is the deal ladies (and men) WHO THE EFF CARES! Who cares about what you look like or the love handles on your sides. Anytime I start to doubt myself I instantly look at my kids. If I didn’t have this glorious bangable body (joke) I wouldn’t have my amazing children. I see the joy in their eyes when I swim with them. They aren’t going to remember how their mom was a buoy, they are going to remember how much fun mom was when she would swim.

Embrace your bodies ladies. Those stretch marks are your mom stripes and rock them with pride. I know one day I will get back to the weight I want to be but until then I don’t want that to stop me from living. My kids are only young once and I am trying to make the best of it. I don’t want to be one of those moms who sits outside the pool and watches her kids have fun. Be a mom who is in that memory and not out of it.

Be the mom in the memory not out of it!
Be the mom in the memory not out of it.

A few things that make me confident during summer:

  • Maui Babe Tanning Lotion. Being tan is always a plus when at the pool. Someone once told me being tan and fat is better than being fat a white.
  • Swim Skirt. I rock this mom skirt EVERY.SINGLE.TIME and it makes me feel as if I am not showing my goodies to everyone and their kids.
  • High Waisted Swim Suit I purchased a high waisted swimsuit this summer and I absolutely love the bottoms. One day I will rock the top but not this summer. ha ha

I hope this post is inspiring to women who may feel the same as me when it comes to swimming. No one is perfect. It’s time to embrace yourself and start living. Be the mom in the memory not out of it!

xoxo

Chels

 

 

3 effective ways to prepare your daughter for her period

First of all, here’s the deal. I was only in 4th grade when I started my period. FOURTH GRADE! I was a baby and didn’t know it was about to happen so soon. Since growing up with a mom and two sisters, I knew what a pad was. A pad was those weird looking things that were like pillows for your vagina. I never felt the need to ask my mom what a pad was but she informed me that they certainly weren’t pillows.

mommon' with humor!
mommon’ with humor!

My whole life we have openly talked about it and it seems like vagina was a word frequently used at the dinner table. (sorry mom. Don’t hate me for posting that)  It wasn’t a dirty little secret you were “hush-hush about. Therefore, when someone was on the rag, we ALL knew and made fun of them. “your Aunt flow is here to visit, that must be why your acting like a HUGE B***H”. I am so glad my family was open about it. I wasn’t scared or nervous at all because I knew what was going on. Due to the fact my uterus wanted a baby, I knew why it was being an angry bastard with this period crap.

The day I started my period was a bright and sunny day. I was old for my age. I already had boobs. (It was so traumatizing because kids are assholes. Hence, I would wear double sports bras and still tape my boobs down because of embarrassment during elementary school) I was wearing a purple shirt and white thin Gap shorts. For some people, their periods aren’t even noticeable when they first start. Normally, it is just a little bit when you wiped but that wasn’t my case. I literally bled through my thin white Gap shorts and had to change my clothes in the nurse’s office. SOOO EMBARRASSING! The nurse wasn’t helpful at all and was just confused as to what I, a fourth grader, was asking for. Word traveled fast and my class was saying “Chelsee’s privates are bleeding”. Immature children right? Doesn’t this sound like a horror story? I’m scarred for life. At that moment, I felt ashamed to be a girl.I instantly wished I could get a sex change. Plus, peeing standing up didn’t seem like a bad gig.

Needless to say, I finished the day at school with my head held high, my boobs taped down and my middle finger being put to good use! I hurried home to bury my head in my mom’s arms and cry.  Karen (my mom) wiped my tears and we celebrated. She took me to dinner and my sister made me a blood red cake. we ate that red fun fetti cake with pride. Happy Period Day! (now Karen says Happy Period Day for other reasons. aka Chelsee isn’t pregnant again! She’s so funny. ha)

After that traumatic experience, I vowed I would never let my daughter go through that. I promised myself, to make sure she knows what’s going to happen. The key is to be prepared. I wanted her to know everything there was about Aunt Flow, most of all, not be ashamed and to embrace this natural thing that all of us strong women get to deal it!

3 Effectivity ways to Teach your daughter
                                                              Prepare your Daughter

What I told my Daughter:

  • Women are blessed with this monthly “gift”. We get to bleed each month from our uterus in hopes to one day carry a baby in there. I noticed her face kind of freaked out so I did what I do best and made a joke to lighten the mood. “Your uterus will bleed and create wars in your tummy because it’s angry and wants a baby in there.” She laughed and asked some awesome questions that I did my best to answer.
  • Another thing I told her is that a period is a natural thing for all women. I went through each woman in her life who she looks up to and said how they get periods also so it isn’t scary. I also explained how she will feel some mild discomfort for a little bit due to cramps. If she starts to feel that quickly go to the nurse and ask for  some Tylenol. If they hurt really bad call me. I will pick you up!
“Chocolate and periods go together. There is no better medicine than chocolate. It cures all the shit your uterus will put you through! – momminwithhumor.com” 
  •  I put together a period bag filled with a couple pads, baby wipes, an extra pair of panties and some candy. She thought is was hilarious and quickly ate the candy out of the bag. I told her to keep the bag in her backpack. Let’s just say she quickly ditched the bag out of her backpack. She’ll learn, Momma knows best!

Most of all, I couldn’t express enough on how she needs to tell me (her mom) the moment she started so we can throw a period celebration. I will keep the blood red cake tradition in my home! Every single one of my daughters will get one. It truly is a must! Embrace your womanhood!

In conclusion, educate your daughters and prepare them. Don’t be one of those moms who doesn’t explain things thoroughly to where they go somewhere else to get answers. That is never  a good thing and you will be missing out on a bonding experience. Be open and be there for your daughter!

 

Today I Choose Joy

Many mornings I wake up instantly angry. I don’t know if it is the lack of sleep I get each night with a baby and 4 year old or if I have terrible dreams that affect my mornings. ( Be sure to check out my latest blog POST. It helps burnt out mothers. )  Sometimes I dream my husband cheats on me or something crazy and I wake up so pissed off at him. He laughs at me and I get so mad. He should be able to control what he does in my dream right!? I mean, come on, you should be able to control your stupid choices “in my dreams” that cause me to wake up and want to throat punch you 10 times. (haha)

Today I choose Joy

I dream every night and I know I have them but when I wake up I can hardly remember what they were. Of course, unless my husband cheats on me in my dream. I always seem to remember that and can still remember what nights I dreamt that. Paranoid a little? Which is funny because my husband isn’t like that at all.

When I wake up to the blissful sounds of bickering children I instantly have this saying that pops into my head. “Today I Choose Joy”. That little 4-worded saying has a lot of impact on me. I can choose to be angry and pissed off at the world or I can choose joy and be the happy mom that my kids need and want. Those 4 little words can change anyone’s mood in a heartbeat.

My wonderful husband always reminds me of this too. One day I woke up just angry. As angry as a raging bull. I don’t know why but this crazy bitch woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My 3-year-old got into my make up one morning. She destroyed my wonderful and beautiful MAC makeup foundation that I had just purchased and paid for with one of my ovaries. I was instantly angry. My blood was boiling and momma was losing her shit. I heard this loud obnoxious man voice in the background say “CHOOSE JOY” needless to say my daughter is still alive and well. She didn’t get the wrath of mommy but I did have a long talk with her on how we only touch daddies stuff. Not mommies!

My oldest daughter and I love to write poems together. We come up with some crafty funny shit. That’s one of our favorite things to do. We rhyme and say whatever comes to our minds and it will usually end with us laughing our butts off! Here is one we made together about Choosing Joy.

Today I choose Joy

 Today choose Joy,
And every day at that.
You have to work for it,
You can’t pull it out of a hat.

If You wake up and You’re moody,
Sing out loud and shake your booty.
Look in the mirror for the light in your eyes,
It’s there and shouldn’t be a big surprise.

When you’re feeling down and blue
Ask your friends and family to help you.
Seeing all their kindness and unconditional love,
Will give your happiness a quick little shove.

Being happy and joyous
Truly won’t destroy us.
It’s really the best way of life.
Try hard to let go of unwanted strife.

Tell the day to bring it on,
Come what may and just be strong.
Say in your head, every girl and every boy,
Today, is the day…that…YOU choose joy!

This poem is a great reminder that Happiness is a choice. Each day I have to choose to be happy. Sometimes it’s super hard and my self-pity gets the best of me. I could go on and on about things that have happened or the wrong doings of others or the “Wo” is me bull shit but it is useless to think that way. You can’t change the past. You can only live in the now and create a better future. You have to discard those negative thoughts or toxic people in your life. Choose you, Choose Joy! (mic drop)

I created a free 8×10 download for all my wonderful readers. Download it and display it so you can remind yourself that “Today I (you) Choose Joy” Enjoy!

xoxo,

Chels

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Bedtime Battles

After a long day of parenting and adulting, I am most definitely looking at the clock hoping that 8pm bedtime rolls around quickly!

Bedtime battles
Bedtime battles, Babycenter.com

 

First of all, I found this chart from Baby Center that shows the age of your kid and what time they should go to bed. I don’t know about you but I have 5 kids. FIVE, so getting them all to bed a different time is an effin’ Joke! Thanks, Baby Center, but seems like the person running that site doesn’t have multiple children. If I put my son and daughter down at 7pm and my oldest daughter can stay up until 8:15 they would be PISSED! And, not the pissed off funny way. The pissed off, I’m going to bang my head against the wall and cry that entire hour way!

In my house bedtime is a process. It is a downright, dirty process. I always have to yell and I always end up feeling bad. One of my friends sent me this book called Go The F**k to Sleep and it’s hilarious! I wish I could read that as a bedtime story. It’s the perfect gift to give if you want the loudest laughs at the baby shower. Trust me! It’s my fave!

After my kids eat dinner I start the bedtime process. They take showers, brush teeth and I’ll turn on one show. After each step, I always repeat “It’s almost time for bedtime” I get the never ending NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The best line comes during the summer when they say “It’s still light outside.”  When all pre-bedtime things are finished I turn off the tv and get down to business.

Step 1: “Alright kids its time for bed”. They get this burst of crazy energy that wakes them up. They start running around like crazy dogs who just got let off their leash for the first time. I nicely say “Lets go to bed!”

Step 2: I literally have to pick them up and throw them in their bed. Then I get the sob stories on how I didn’t take them to do this or we didn’t do that. Now the water works start. By this point I am already so effin’ tired I feel my blood start to boil in my body as I repeat over and over “GO TO BED”

Step 3: After I have put them all in their beds. My son and daughter who share a room start to annoy each other. She will climb up the bunk bed ladder and steal his stuff.   He likes to spit on her EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. Once he does that, she’ll scream at the top of her lungs and her crying gets super intense. They also like to get out of their beds and play. My daughter will run up and down the halls thinking I don’t see or hear her. I always have to repeat ‘GO TO BED”

Step 4: This is when everyone suddenly has to go to the bathroom. They have this burst of bodily fluids that comes out of nowhere. Sometimes they claim they have to poop but I swear they just go in there and sit just to avoid bedtime.

Step 5: By this point, it’s 8:45 and I’m DONE! After the bathroom, everyone will need a drink and will literally cry until they get it. (any moms angry yet by reading this? I am angry just typing it) By this point, I am yelling and losing my shit left and right. I yell at them to quickly get a drink, once that’s done, I will do the final ‘GO THE F**K TO SLEEP!” (of course I don’t say the actual F word but I’m totally thinking it!)  Once I hit that point everyone knows mommy is not to be messed with. They cry and cry until they finally pass out. Once that happens I lay sprawled out on the couch feeling exhausted.

bedtime battles momminwithhumor.com
bedtime battles momminwithhumor.com

 

Bedtime is done It’s time to do you!

Finally, when bedtime is over. Down that Pepsi or glass of wine because you deserve it and give yourself a pat on the back. Be sure to read Tips to Skyrocket your Mom Juice to get some you time in.  Kids are work and they are exhausting. Always taking but of course we don’t mind because they are our sweet children. Here are some fun tips I have started doing to help bedtime move along a little faster.

  • Have your kids be active. I am always taking my kids to do things and wearing them out. From jumping around at the mall to swimming all day. I work my hardest to get them tired enough that bedtime will go smooth.
  • Don’t surprise them with bedtime. Make sure to always remind them of the time. My kids do way better knowing that bedtime is approaching rather than me just saying “bedtime now”
  • Stick to your guns. I have a hard time with this one. What can I say? My kids know how to work this crazy bitch! I am learning to stick to what I say. If you do that, you won’t have tons of bedtime battles.

Therefore, Good luck moms! This bedtime crap is seriously the pits. Those damn kids and their cuteness just know how to work us over.

xoxo,

Chels